


Loco Amor

by BlushingDoll



Category: The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel (TV)
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Sex, F/M, Flash Forward, Flashbacks, Rough Sex, Unresolved Emotional Tension
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-09
Updated: 2020-12-29
Packaged: 2021-03-03 20:34:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,776
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24631636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlushingDoll/pseuds/BlushingDoll
Summary: She watched him reach into his pocket and pull out a cigarette, lighting it up before taking a long drag, blowing the smoke into the room as he tilted his head back and closed his eyes. “Ya know I’ve always been in your corner.” He murmured to the ceiling. “When people asked me if I fucked you to help you get ahead, I defended you, when you needed someone to listen, I listened, when you were in trouble I did what I could…and what did you do?” he rhetorically asked. “You left...even in Miami.”
Relationships: Lenny Bruce (The Marvelous Mrs. Maisel)/Miriam "Midge" Maisel
Comments: 7
Kudos: 62





	1. Loco

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written for an OTP in a long time, so please be gentle. I am hopelessly in love with Miriam and Lenny and although I love the characters and I sometimes feel that Miriam takes Lenny for granted and I there's this slow burning tension between them and this is my depiction of it surfacing. 
> 
> Enjoy!

It was a glistening wet dark and cloudy morning but to Miriam it was still gorgeous. How could it not be when she had Lenny Bruce standing in her old/new kitchen making her breakfast as she lounged on their blue velvet couch with a hot cup of coffee in her hands. She never thought she could feel this way again and the more she looks back, she doesn think she ever did, that is until him. He made her so happy, happy in ways she never knew existed, never knew she needed, until he showed her. 

Looking back, things with Joel just weren't meant to be and she understands that now, she let him persuade her into getting married before she was ready, have kids because it was expected, and the rest of their marriage was spent with her solely dedicated to making him happy and her making sure he never saw her flaws while also doing her best to fix his. Whenever she slowed down for a breather or simply ran out of tasks to occupy herself with, sometimes she would let her thoughts escape her and guiltily wonder what if she would have dated Joel a little longer and realized that he wasn’t a strong man, as her papa had. A good man, just not a strong man.

She tapped her perfect pink nails against her coffee cup as her eyes followed the raindrops gliding down the window, her thoughts flashing back to a year ago to that horrible yet chaotically beautiful night. 

She ran, leaving Sussie with her belongings. She hailed down the first cab she could get to stop and ran away from the tarmac. Gulping down tears in the back of a grimy cab was not how her night was supposed to start, she was supposed to be strapped into a high back airplane seat next to Suisse as the band sang made up tunes as a pastime and Reggie brought her gin and tonics. This was awful, absolutely horrible and the only person she had to blame was herself. Her thoughts were interrupted by the rude cabby.

“MISS! Ya gonna tell me where you headed or not?” he snapped.

“Headed…” she repeated softly to herself as if it was a foreign word or perhaps it was the fact that she didn’t have an answer to his question. “I...I don't know I am sorry.”

“You maybe gotta general idea?” he asked this time with a little softness. 

Midge took a moment to think of her options. Joel was the first person to come to mind but immediately dismissed the idea, she didn't want to be around his self martyr-mister fix it attitude right now. Her parents came to mind next but that would mean Joel's parents and that would mean questions and she couldn’t answer questions she herself didn’t have answers for at the moment. “Uhh downtown and then to the nearest comedy club.” she murmured. 

“You got it.” 

The smell of alcohol and peanuts was almost comforting to her as she walked into the dim club and made her way to the bar and sat defeatedly on the last open stool. She ordered her signature drink full of olives and turned to take in her surroundings. The club was packed to the max and she was surprised she was even able to get a seat, there was a comforting buzz of drinks clanking, voices murmuring, with a hint of laughter coming from somewhere, she felt at ease. 

“Ladies and gentleman, the moment we’ve all been waiting for...Lenny Bruce!” someone announced from the overly bright stage. Swerving around in her seat in shock, Miriam gasped softly as a dark and handsome Lenny sauntered onto the stage. She was in awe of the fact that even on her worst night, yes her worst, she was over Joel leaving her, that she somehow managed once again to find her way into the same place as Lenny Bruce. Lenny Bruce who had taken her on a spontaneous date, Lenny Bruce who had allowed her to lay her head on his shoulder as he danced with her until her feet hurt, Lenny Bruce who had stolen a flower for her when she gushed how much she adored the big pink ones on their walk home, only to place it in her hair. Lenny Bruce who she had begged a critique from on her performance and then left once she got it. Lenny Bruce who had made her feel like the only girl in the world and she had probably made him feel like nothing. ‘Was this what she had turned into, was this her fate?’ she questioned herself. A husband who left her because she doted on him too much, a fiancee who she left because he was her, and her mothers, safety net if her dream career didn’t come true, and a man who she spontaneously tangoed around New York with at ungodly hours of the night. ‘And god could that man dance.’ 

Lenny drew a closing laugh from the audience and then made his way off stage, Miriam watching his every move, waiting for the right time to approach. When he secured a drink in his hand, she quickly slid down from the barstool and shyly made her way towards him. His back was to her and even in heels he was too tall and broad for her to see over his shoulders, so she approached his left and gently placed her hand on his arm, causing him to turn around swiftly. 

“H-hi…” her voice was still watery from earlier.

“Hey you, what are y-” before he could even finish his greeting she was forcing herself into his arms, immediately feeling eyes on them, probably confirming the rumorms that everyone desperately wanted to be true, even a part of her. Why else would she keep running back to Joel, he was the only man she had ever loved but then she met Lenny and he had awoken something inside her and it left her terrified, so she ran back to Joel the second her heart started to feel that now familiar ache for the man who wasn’t her soon-to-be-again ex husband.  
She felt a tentative hand placed on her lower back, “hey…” Lenny whispered hesitantly, “...what’s the matter?” A sob soon left her body and she pressed her face into his signature black suit harder. She felt him begin to run slow circles into her back when she refused to answer him. “Come on…” he murmured, “...were leaving.” She didn’t argue when he set his drink down, stubbed out his cigarette, and guided her out of the club and hailed down a cab. 

“Where to ?” she heard again for the second time that night.

“What's your address midge?” Lenny asked her but she nodded her head no.

“Midge..” he tried again. 

“I said no.” she said stubbornly. 

“Look guys I aint got all ni-”

“Then tell me where?” Lenny interrupted the taxi driver, only focused on the woman sitting next to him.

“Yours.” she simply said, as if it was the most obvious answer.

“Come again?” Lenny questioned with raised eyebrows.

“I said yours.” she repeated. He didn’t question her further, just told the driver his address and settled back into the seat next to her where she scooted closer and laid her head on his shoulder like that night in Miami, that night she ran away from and now was desperately trying to crawl her way back to. The rest of the drive went smoothly but she was desperate to be out of this car and became antsy, adjusting in her seat repeatedly until Lenny put his arm around her to settle her down. They arrived soon after, Lenny tossing a couple bills at the driver and slamming the door shut after he helped her to her feet, the rest was a blur until they were safely secure behind his door and she was slipping her shoes off. 

Leaning on the closest wall, Lenny broke their silence with arms crossed over his chest, “you gonna talk to me?”

“You gonna ask a question?” she retaliated while strolling around his apartment barefoot taking in her new surroundings. It was clean, minimalist, but clean. 

“I am not your husband.” he snapped back startling her. 

“Excuse me?”

“I am not your husband and I am not Sussie, don’t speak to me the way you do them. Now I was silent in the cab for privacy sake but we’re behind closed doors now and I asked you back at the club what was wrong.” 

She was stunned for a moment, he had never spoken that way to her before. He had always treated her with the utmost respect. What was different, why was he speaking to her this way? Then it hit her, the last interaction they had was Miami, where she had walked away.

“Lenny...about Miami.” she tried.

“I don’t want to talk about Miami, I am perfectly capable of handling rejection like a grown up. Now, you came to me tonight clearly upset about something. You gonna tell me what it is or are we gonna sit and stare at each other all night?”

“You think I rejected you?.” she accused, not backing down. “I didn't reject you I-”

“You..?” He mocked her when she didn’t finish her sentence.

“I-I just left.” she finally said.

“I know, I was there. You left the second you got what you wanted from me.”

“and what the hell would that be Lenny!”

“What everyone else wants...” He spoke softly. “...a glowing recommendation and the almighty approval of the infamous Lenny Bruce. ‘The best comic in the business but also the most doomed’” he mocked himself. He felt a slight pang of guilt when he saw the look of horror paint across her face and eyes gloss over. “Look...that was har-”

“You really think that of me?” she sobbed out. “You really thought that was the reason I left last night?”

“Well fuck Miriam you’re not givin me a lot to go off of! We spent the whole night together and I thought I was reading all the signs right and as the night came to an end, you to ask me what I thought of your act and before I know it you’re gone with no word until tonight. Tell me what the hell am I supposed to think?” he motioned with his hands, in his usual swagger.

“ANYTHING BUT THAT!” she screamed at him. “Anything...of all the things to come to your mind h-how can you possibly think that of me?”

“What have you done to prove otherwise?” he responded quickly, like he had given this some thought. She watched him reach into his pocket and pull out a cigarette, lighting it up before taking a long drag, blowing the smoke into the room as he tilted his head back and closed his eyes. “Ya know I’ve always been in your corner.” He murmured to the ceiling. “When people asked me if I fucked you to help you get ahead, I defended you, when you needed someone to listen, I listened, when you were in trouble I did what I could…and what did you do?” he rhetorically asked. “You left the Gaslight before the set I did for you was done” he began. “You left the Steve Allen show before I could even exit the stage and you left in Miami.”  
His words sank in as her heart sank to the floor, everything he was saying felt like a slap in the face but there was nothing coming out of his mouth that wasn’t true. Her father had been right, all she’d been doing since Joel left her was trample over people and make their lives harder including this already broken man. Was she just breaking him even more?

“Lenny I swear I didn’t realize what I was doing...all those nights that I left, things happened that I-well things that I promise are no longer important to me. I am so sorry.” She pleaded taking a hesitant step forward. He took another drag of his cigarette while bringing his head forward and opening his eyes to look at her. She’d never felt this nervous in her life.  
“Tell me about tonight.” Was his only response. She took a moment to think about whether or not she wanted to push the Miami subject but she decided that she wouldn’t push him and they could always come back to the topic of that night.  
“Shy kicked me off the tour.”

“Why would he do that?” he frowned at her.

“Because I don’t know how to keep my stupid mouth shut.” she grumbled. “ I was nervous about our most recent show because we were in Shy’s hometown-which is predominantly black- and I felt out of place and I was already walking in there with some distaste cause I was put ahead of Moms Mabley and I didn't blame them so I went to Reggie to see if I could sit this one out but he wouldn't let me, he actually encouraged me to talk about Shy and Shy and I had gotten close on the tour so I thought it was a good idea because I knew a lot about him.” she rushed out, trying to just get it all out there. “Turns out I knew a little too much about him and before I could stop myself I was outing Shy to the entire Apollo without even knowing it.”  
There was a pregnant pause after her confession and Miriam grew uneasy at his silence. 

“Does Sussie know?” he asked calmly, finishing off his cigarette and walking over to a nearby ashtray to stub it out. 

“She does, she was there with me when I was told.”

“ How are you feeling?” He asked gently.

“I feel lost…I had nowhere to go when I left the airport so i told the driver to just drop me off at the closest comedy club, I didn't know you were gonna be there I swear.” 

“Perhaps God is trying to play some kind of cruel joke on me.” He chuckled trying to lighten the mood, but it did more harm than good. Tears pricked her eyes and she squared her shoulders.

“I am some cruel joke?” her voice quivered and she hated herself for it. His eyes finally met hers for the first time since they’d locked themselves in this apartment.

“Miriam…” he began.

“It's fine, I get it.” she assured him. “I destroy peoples lives, I am a selfish bitch who's clearly just a curse and brings bad luck to everything I touch.” she carried on dramatically.

“Jesus, I thought I was talking to someone with a sense of humor” he sighed, realising that perhaps tonight wasn’t the best night to tease her, “look I am sorry, I was trying to lighten the mood.”

“No need to apologise” she said stiffly, starting to believe that coming here was a mistake.

“ Will you stop being a brat.” He sighed for the second time that night. Pushing off the wall he was currently laid up against, he slid off his black suit jacket and tossed it on a nearby chair before reaching up with nimble fingers to unknot his tie and throw it in the same direction as his jacket, Miriam followed his every move with her eyes. She shifted back forth on her tired feet trying to anticipate what he would do next. 

“Have you eaten?” he asked unexpectedly as he slipped off his loafers and finally took a seat on the couch. 

“I am not hungry.”

“You sure?” 

“yes...” 

Standing here in his apartment arguing with him for a good part of the night after his gig and her horrible event, and yet he still cared enough about her to inquire how she felt and if she was hungry even after he himself looked like he could use a hot meal and good eight hours of sleep; in that moment she couldn't help but think of Joel, Joel and their apparently unhappy marriage that caused him to go cheat on her at the first sign of distress. They had never argued during their marriage, all of that surfaced after he had left her with her suitcase. Yet here she was with Lenny, Lenny who was..always there. Swallowing her self pity and doubt, Miriam crossed the distance of the room and joined him on the couch, making a point in sitting as close as possible to him, earning his raised eyebrows. No more running, she promised herself silently.

“Lenny…”she whispered at a loss for words but dying to say something. She hesitantly placed her hand on his thigh instead and his eyes immediately honed in on her movement. Her heart was pounding, palm sweating, fingers trembling.

“Midge…” he began but before he could finish she had closed the distance between them, crushing her lips to his and it wasn’t what she expected at all, maybe hoped for, but definitely not expected. Fireworks. Fireworks bursted throughout her entire body, her hands were no longer trembling from nerves, but from...well she actually didn't know for she had never felt this feeling before. She pushed herself even closer when she realized Lenny hadn’t responded to her kiss just yet, but he also hadn’t pushed her away so she took it as an opportunity to clumsily crawl into his lap. Her body was set aflame when she felt his hands placed on her waist to steady her, his lap now engulfed with her as he slowly began responding to her kiss. She mentally sighed with relief when his lips parted against hers and he took her bottom lip into his mouth, drawing a moan from her pink lips and causing her hands to lace through his perfectly slicked back hair. His hands set a path of fire down her body as he began to familiarize himself with her curves, drawing her even closer when he felt her squirm in his lap, Miriam frustrated with herself at her choice of outfit. Without breaking their evergrowing heated kiss, she shuffled in his lap to her knees, hands leaving the confines of his hair to pull her tight fitted vanilla cream hobble skirt up her hips to be able to straddle him, but his hands halted her movements, causing her to break their kiss and frown at him.

“Not like this.” he whispered, “Not when you’re hurting.”

“But I want this” she assured him, cupping his face with her hands. “Please…” He stared at her for a moment, trying to gauge her thoughts, but he was firm in his decision. 

“Not tonight.” He murmured, holding her forearm gently like when he told her they were gonna dance. However, before Miriam could stop herself her palm was burning from striking Lenny across his cheek. 

“You’re punishing me for Miami, aren't you?” she sobbed, desperately trying to crawl out of his lap with as much grace as possible but her skirt was fighting against her and she found herself tumbling to the hardwood floor, that is until two strong hands were catching her and settling her against a firm chest. She squirmed even harder to get away from him but he wrapped himself around her, arms across her waist and chest, turning their bodies horizontal so his weight was supported by the armrest of the couch and hers by his chest, their bodies now stretched out over the cushions. 

“I am not rejecting you” he pressed his mouth to the crown of her head. “But neither of us are in the right state of mind for that next step.” 

A gut wrenching sob left her body, officially defeated. “I destroyed everything…I-I cost Sussie her job, Shy his reputation...what's wrong with me, why can’t I-” she interrupted herself with hiccough.

“Shhh…” Lenny soothed, whispering small nothings into her ear, “we’ll figure it out together, you made a mistake, that doesn't make you a bad person and I can guarantee you didn’t say anything that wasn’t already under speculation.”

“But I hurt him” she groaned through her tears. “I hurt everybody...my parents, Joel, Benjamin, my children, Sussie….you” 

“Joel put you in a position to fight for your life and you did. People getting hurt in the crossfire are an inevitable casualty and no one, and I mean absolutely fucking no one has the right to tell you how to fight.”

She turned her body into his after consuming his words, burying her face into his neck and her hands grasping for him as if her life depended on it, and there in an unknown hour of the night, somewhere in New York, she cried for herself. She cried for the pain that Joel had caused her, the shame her parents had made her feel, the guilt Sussie had often caused unintentionally, the loss of Shy’s trust and friendship and the man who was holding her as she fell apart in his arms. The man who had never judged her, never expected or asked anything of her but yet who she had unintentionally hurt and she stupidly had tried to make up for it by trying to have sex with him and then hit him for doing the right thing.  
Miriam pulled away from him in horror, her tear stained eyes roamed his face for proof of her assault, gasping when she was met with his now reddened cheek.

“I hurt you.” she accused herself as fresh tears poured from her baby blues and met his tired grey ones, fingertips grazing the slightly raised skin. It was scorching. She had never hit anyone before, not even to spank her children.

“Don’t worry about it. I've had worse” he joked, but she wasn't amused. Leaning forward she placed her cool lips against the hot skin of his cheek, wishing she could somehow take it back or at the very least ease his pain. One kiss led to another, then another, and then she was peppering his tender cheek with soft kisses until she was near the corner of his mouth. Lenny, predicting where her actions were headed, leaned them forward and placed his forehead to her chest, her hands naturally falling to cradle his head to his chosen resting place. 

“Miriam please…” he groaned into her bosom, “...I am still a man and can only resist your siren call for so long.” The vibrations of his plea tickled her and she couldn't help but respond with a giggle, making him groan once more. His hands slid up her back to rest under her arms, pulling her body even closer so he could suffocate himself in her, a steady rhythm of a rocking motion taking over their bodies as if they were no longer in control. Miriam laid her cheek on the top of his head, letting her body melt into his and enjoying the return of the holy flame igniting across her body. Her heart began beating in an unnatural way when his hands descended down her back and encased her bottom in his rugged hands, causing a gasp to escape her lips and her hands to clutch him even tighter. Her lips began seeking out any trace of skin they could find, beginning with his forehead she trailed kisses down to his sharp nose, passed his jawline and finally to his neck where she was eager to leave her mark. As her mouth bruised him she felt him begin bunching her cream skirt up and around her hips, his hands settling themselves on her stocking clad thighs and squeezing.

“Lenny…”she whimpered at the pressure, pulling him by his hair to expose his mouth to hers, locking them together once more. Her hands deftly began tearing the buttons of his now wrinkled dress shirt open and pulling the tails from his waistband, her cheeks pinkining when she caught a glimpse of the trail of hair leading below his belt. Her fingers began working even faster, so fast that she was missing the buttonholes and became frustrated, grasping his shirt, she pulled as hard as she could, sending the buttons scattering around them and exposing his strong chest to her.

“Miriam…” he warned, coming to his senses but she bypassed the caution in his voice and pressed her mouth to his chest, her tongue darting out to taste the forbidden fruit that she had desired for longer than she cared to admit. Lenny threw his head back and released a groan at the feelings she was causing to course through him, his own fingers toying with the strap of her garter belt, knowing the second he snapped them free he was no longer in control of his actions. “Miriam…” he tried once more. 

“Lenny,” she mocked, bringing her hungry mouth back to his, her hands now fumbling with his belt buckle.  
She felt the tension shift between them when one of her garter belts came loose. Her desire for him grew even more if possible. “I want you..” she whimpered into his mouth, “...I’ve wanted you since that night in the back of that police car.” 

Her confession brought him to an abrupt halt, a frown adorning his face. “What?”

“I-I want you.” she repeated. 

“No, the part you said after that.”

“Oh...uhh, I-” she took a second to think as if she couldn't remember what had escaped her mouth moments before. “I’ve wanted you from the moment we first met.” She admitted, her voice now laced with a hint of shyness. His frown deepened but he stayed silent. “...I don’t know if you remember but I wasn’t wearing much an-and you offered me your coat in the jail cell and you dozed off soon after that but I was bailed out by Sussie later on but then I had came back for you in the morning to ask you about whether or not you love your job because I had remembered who you were from a date with Joel, he took me to see you when you were just starting out and I thought you wer-” she paused her ranting.

“You thought...?” he raised his brows, interest piqued.

“...thought you were handsome.” she breathed out. “Before I married Joel, I saw you and I thought you were handsome. Her eyes darted around his face, trying to read his expression but he was giving away nothing.

“Are you sure it was me you saw, I feel like I would have remembered seeing you in a crowd?” 

“Blonde.I was blond then.” 

“Ahh” was his only response.

“I really did come back to ask you...you know about your career but then Honey walked in and I realized that you were married,of course you’d be married, not that that would have made a difference because I was still hurting from Joel and I was trying to-.” She was interrupted by his mouth, his lips colliding with hers and bringing an end to her rant. God this man could kiss. She gasped when she felt his hand slip under her skirt, allowing him the opportunity to slip his tongue past her lips. 

The next few moments became a haphazard blur as the two rushed to become one. Her half blazer was tossed away, his shirt pulled from his arms, and her blouse forced over her head, this time both tumbling to the hardwood of the floor with Lenny breaking her fall. He flipped them over so that he was the one on top of her, her thighs spreading to accompany the weight of his hips as he settled between them, her mouth attached itself to his neck when he broke their kiss so he could bury his face into her breast, his mouth suckling her nipple through her bra causing her to cry out in pleasure. One of his hands forced her silk cup down while the other grabbed the hem of her skirt and dragged it further up her waist, bunching it between them as his hungry mouth attached itself to her bare pink nipple. Her own hand tangling itself in his hair as she raised her chest into his mouth, her fingers worked between them, unbuckling his belt and dragging down his zipper, Miriam slid between the waistband of his boxers and grasped his firm member into her palm. 

“Fuck Miriam!” he growled, hips bucking forward on their own accord, his mouth finding hers again as he forced her matching silk panties around her thighs and assisted her with pulling his pants and boxers down around his ass, his erect member springing free. She groaned into his mouth, feeling his dripping head tracing her slick entrance, bringing their hands to rest near her head, he laced their sweating fingers together. “Are you sure?” he asked into her mouth, trailing kisses down her throat as he waited for her response. 

“God, yes...please Lenny, I beg you” sung from her lips as she arched into his mouth. That being all the confirmation he needed, Lenny thrusted into her, his mouth swallowing her cry of pleasure as he filled her body for the first time, her slick thighs locking around his hips as her walls stretched to accommodate his size. She squeezed her eyes shut and their hands tighter in both pleasure and pain at the sudden but welcome intrusion. He slowly began moving inside, driving her insane with his slow movements, she yearned for him to take her as roughly as he was kissing. Attempting to encourage him, Miriam clawed her pink nails down his glistening back, drawing blood and a growl from his throat. 

The air shifted between them, their movements evolving from making love to roughly claiming one another, ravaging each other desperately and he began to pound into her with urgency that threatened to tear them both apart. Their movements were perfectly choreographed as they seemingly tried to become one in every way possible. He tucked one hand beneath her, raising her hips forcefully with each thrust of his pelvis, in return she clenched her walls around him almost savagely, milking his cock with her every being as he took her over and over again. He suddenly felt her body begin to tense in his arms, her nether region clenching around him so tightly that he stilled his thrusts.

“Don’t stop...PLEASE DONT FUCKING STOP,” she lurched forward, arms wrapping around him as she held on for dear life, teeth biting into his shoulder to ease the pressure that was forming inside and dying to be released. His thrusts became more frantic and short as each whimper and cry from her became louder and louder, spurring him on as her nails dug into the cheeks of his ass and guided each of his thrust into her. She was so close and he could feel it with every fiber of his being and he was bordering the brink as well, the slick slapping noises of their couplation could be heard throughout the apartment, he could feel her readiness for release and he was ready to fill her. 

Grasping her stocking clad thigh, he moved it over his shoulder, forcing himself even deeper into her causing now feverish screams to echo throughout the room. Fire filled her veins and coursed throughout her body as she combusted around him, her eyes scrunching closed and body convulsing beneath his sweat drenched one as she completely fell apart and came with a sirening scream, Lenny followed soon after, releasing his seed inside her and filling her channels with everything he had to offer, the spurting of his member causing another wave of pleasure to rock through her body and leaving her in a state of euphoria as he collapsed on top of her, their chests heaving in perfect harmony. 

She pressed her mouth to his soaked hairline as she stroked his equally drenched back, “I love you…”


	2. Amor

Amor

Her eyes shot open the second she said it, meeting his surprised ones already looking down at her. “I-I’m sorry” she hurried out in embarrassment causing Lenny to raise his eyebrows which made her panic even more. “No...no...i'm not sorry I-mean I am- I do- I didn't mean to be that girl...I’ve never…” 

“Are you finished?” Lenny asked her in amusement after her rant that he somehow managed to piece together. She deftly nodded her head with wide eyes and bated breath. Stroking a chocolate curl back from her damp forehead, Lenny gazed into her panicked eyes and asked her the only thing he could think of in this crazy moment of bliss, “Did you mean it?”

She took a moment to answer, for the first time probably in her life she was too nervous to talk so she nodded her head, yes, because she did mean it, it definitely wasn't the way she wanted to say it but she had not only meant it but also felt it. Her thoughts were interrupted when she felt Lenny press his mouth to hers and she was embarrassed yet again when her entire body noticeably relaxed with relief, eagerly kissing him back. 

“I love you too.” He whispered against her mouth. 

“You do?”

“You sound surprised…” he chuckled. 

“Well I am...a little.” 

“You think someone like you would fall in love with someone like me and I would what…thinks it’s cute like some adolescent crush?” 

“You make it sound like I’m some princess who fell in love with the stable boy.” She frowned sarcastically. When he didn’t respond she realized that he was serious. “You don’t actually believe that do you?”

“You don’t actually believe that you’re a princess do you?” he laughed as her face formed into a pout. 

“I’m being serious, Lenny,” she tried again. He sighed and moved so that he was no longer on top of her but at her side gazing up at the ceiling. “That bad, huh?” she tried cracking a joke.

“You’re not a princess,” he repeated. “...you’re a goddess.” 

It was her turn to laugh now, “I usually get spoiled princess” 

“Persephone…” he continued. 

“Who?”

“A goddess from Greek mythology.”

“Tell me about her.” Miriam demanded scooting closer and and laying her head on his firm chest.

“According to mythology, Hades, god of the Underworld, fell in love with the beautiful Persephone when he saw her picking flowers one day in a meadow. Hades then carried her off in his chariot to live with him in the dark underworld where she then fell in love with him.” 

“How disturbingly romantic.” She whispered to no one in particular. 

“So you see I am no stable boy and you are no princess I am Hades and you my dear, Persephone.” 

Taking a moment to think about his words Miriam threw her leg over him and rolled until she was firmly on top of him. “Tell me Hades...why did you steal me?” she giggled.

Gazing up at her, he confessed, “You were the most marvelous thing I’d ever seen.” 

For what seemed like the millionth time that night, Lenny Bruce had left her speechless once again. Joel had called her, “the best” throughout their marriage and Benjamin had called her, “a Star in the making.” So it’s not like she hadn’t received a compliment before but as usual, Lenny was different. Blinking slowly as if in a trance, Miriam said the first thing that came to her. 

“I love you.” 

“I love you too.” He responded without hesitation. Resting her cheek on his chest, they laid there for what seemed like eons. He traced imaginary maps on her back and she listened to the beat of his heart like it was her new favorite record. 

“So...this is what it's like.” he said, bursting their little bubble of silence. 

“Hmmm?” she asked lazily.  
“To be happy.”

Tears pricked her eyes at his words. She’d be a liar if she said that she hadn’t experienced happiness, after all she had two children and a pretty great life up until Joel decided to screw his secretary. However, it wasn’t until after Joel left her that she realized that her schedule was dedicated to making Joel happy and if he was happy, she was happy. She was never taught how to separate the two. 

“Do you remember earlier when I told you I had seen you when you were first starting out when Joel and I were still dating?” she asked quietly.

“You were blond then.” he confirmed.

“Well shortly after I returned to my natural color…”

“A wise choice Ms. Wiessman.” He teased, drawing a laugh from her.

“...Joel proposed at this little diner we always went to and at first I wanted to say no...but instead I told him I’d think about it.” She felt him shift beneath her so she glanced up at him and she was met with a look of confusion on his face. “He basically made this big spectacle where he went outside and stopped traffic until I said yes and eventually I did...and I remember in that moment thinking how happy I was but then he brought me home and I told my parents and mama was happy but papa was… well he was passive. We got married and settled into our new apartment and I was so happy waking up at 5 am to make sure he didn’t see my hair rollers and face creams only to then make him breakfast. He then rushed off to work and then I didn’t see him again until dinner time, in which of course, I prepared. He would come home, give me a quick kiss, then we’d sit down for dinner.”

“Sounds perfect.” He murmured into her hair.

“He eventually started bringing me to the Gaslight so he could practice his comedy acts and like a good little wife I sat in the audience and took notes in my comedy journal, which later he said belonged to him. I wrote down jokes for him, I got him the best spots to perform in...I-I did everything right and I thought I was so happy….”

‘But you were living through him.” he finished for her. Finally meeting his gaze, she felt a surge of love for him course through her just for his understanding of what she was trying to say. 

“I was...and the entire time I thought I was happy. I thought I had lost everything I had ever wanted but then I discovered Susie and my comedic voice and you and it created this entire parallel universe that I couldn't get enough of and then I realized why I wanted more of it...because it made me happy and running into you all over New York at odd hours made me even more happy but it also scared the hell out of me,” she admitted. “You scared me so much I ran back to Joel almost every time.”

“None of that matters to me.” He responded reassuringly. 

“My mother even thinks you're the reason I called off my engagement to Benjamin.” 

“Am I?” he asked with a teasing tone. 

“You’re not, not, part of the reason.” She finally admitted out loud. Another pregnant pause settled between them before he could find the right words.

“Do you regret calling it off.”

“I only regret hurting him but I regret leaving that night in Miami more.”

“Are you happy now?”

“More than I’ve been in a very long time.”

“That’s all that matters to me.”

Present Day

“Miriam sweetheart…” she heard Lenny calling her out of her memory. “...are you warm enough because it's raining outside?” he asked while also handing her a pink fuzzy blanket with a silk border. 

“What if I prefer my husband to warm me up?” She teased while happily taking the blanket he offered her. 

“If I didn’t no any better Mrs. Schnieder I’d say you’re flirting with me.”

“Always.” She smiled while placing her coffee cup on the table and her feet in his lap.

“Your breakfast is ready my love.”

“Good cause your son is starving.” she giggled as he played with her pink lacquered toes. 

“Oh now he's my son?”

“I can no longer fit into my favorite pumps so yes, he’s your son,” she teased. 

“You tryin to say I got big feet?” he asked appalled, causing her to burst out in laughter.

“I love you.” She told him once the laughter left her body.

“I love you more.” 

The End.


End file.
